But then again

There are things we've kept secret for so long that we're no longer capable of saying them. Things that no matter how intoxicated or how close to breakdown we come, the words never pass from our lips. Things that dance through our thoughts and our imaginary conversations but when it comes to real life, it's as if our bodies are not capable of producing the words. As if it's a physical impossibility for them to cross from our minds out into open space. As if speaking them is as difficult as willing them directly into another's head. We just can't say them. Even though we want to. Even though we've practiced it a million times over in our heads. Even though we know it won't change how people love us. We can't even write them down. Not even in the journals that nobody reads or in the blogs that no one sees. They can't be tangible, they can't exist outside of us. I don't know why it is, it just is. Maybe we'll say them someday, but then again, maybe we won't.